Women of the OT, Part 6: The Virtuous Wife

PRELUDE

BRINGING IN THE LIGHT OF CHRIST

WELCOME & ANNOUNCEMENTS

*HYMN Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus UMH# 349 x2

*CALL TO WORSHIP

L: Power and might and majesty belong to God who created and is creating.

P: Thanks be to God for God’s mighty wonders.

L: Like the image of the powerful wind, and heavens as a garment, God’s majesty

is revealed in all creation.

P: We look around us at the wonders and marvel and the infinite variety and beauty which God has created.

L: Who are we, that God should pay attention to us?

P: We are God’s beloved children, the stewards whom God has selected to

care for God’s world. AMEN.

*OPENING PRAYER (IN UNISON)

Lord, everywhere we look we see the imprint of your creative love. The wondrous works of nature show your majesty. As we gather today to celebrate your love and creation, keep us mindful that we are part of that created order, meant to be stewards and not destroyers. Prepare us to work for you in ministries of peace and justice. AMEN.

*HYMN O Day of Peace that Dimly Shines UMH# 729

WE PROCLAIM GOD'S WORD

CHILDREN’S CHAT

OLD TESTAMENT READING

Proverbs 31: 10-31

Ode to a Woman of Strength, Proverbs 31: 10-31

A woman of strength who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not harm
all the days of her life.

She seeks wool and flax
and works with willing hands.

She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from far away.

She rises while it is still night
and provides food for her household
and tasks for her female servants.

She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.

She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.

She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.

She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.

She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all her household are clothed in crimson.

She makes herself coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Her husband is known in the city gates,
taking his seat among the elders of the land.

She makes linen garments and sells them;
she supplies the merchant with sashes.

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children rise up and call her happy;
her husband, too, and he praises her:

“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Give her a share in the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the city gates.

MUSICAL INTERLUDE AND OFFERING

NEW TESTAMENT READING

Mark 10: 35-45

The Request of James and John

35 James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came forward to him and said to him, “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” 36 And he said to them, “What is it you want me to do for you?” 37 And they said to him, “Appoint us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.” 38 But Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” 39 They replied, “We are able.” Then Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized you will be baptized, 40 but to sit at my right hand or at my left is not mine to appoint, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.”

41 When the ten heard this, they began to be angry with James and John. 42 So Jesus called them and said to them, “You know that among the gentiles those whom they recognize as their rulers lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. 43 But it is not so among you; instead, whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. 45 For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.”

MESSAGE "Women of the Old Testament, Part 6: The Virtuous Wife"

Friends, this is the very end of this 6 part sermon series that I put together looking at the stories of our foremothers in the Old Testament, and holding those stories up against the teachings of Jesus. We’ve looked at the stories of Eve, Ruth, Hannah, Esther, and Sophia, and today we’re concluding with our friend, this wife from Proverbs 31.

Like a surprisingly large number of pivotal biblical characters, we don’t know this woman’s name. In fact, like the woman we talked about last week, Sophia Hokmah, we don’t know that the Proverbs 31 woman was an actual person at all. I’d argue she couldn’t have been a real woman, because Solomon lifted up the traits such a woman would possess as the ideal. And specifically, the ideal not for all people, but for married women with children. So—single women, people who don’t have kids, and of course, MEN—what does any of this have to do with you? A whole lot, trust me, and we’ll get there in a minute.

Also, I’m just gonna be real with you all, I didn’t feel like preaching this morning. Not because I don’t love you, and the Word. I love preaching to a community like this one more than just about anything. Except maybe Nutella.

But this week, especially the latter part, was a very heavy lift. Preaching is usually very energizing for me. It makes me fly, like Peter Pan. All you have to do is believe. And I believe as much now as ever, but today my pockets are full of rocks. Am I too weighted down to fly? How can me feet possibly leave the ground?

First, on Thursday, I had a rough trip to Wegmans, with Daniel. Life with a neurospicy kid like Daniel is like the box of chocolates from Forrest Gump—you never know what you’re gonna get. And I love him for it, so much. I just lean into it, while preparing for the rough moments. And those rough moments usually come not from him, or me, but from the environment around us that isn’t built to be supportive of Daniel. So Thursday night, Daniel and I went on a run to Wegmans to buy a bottle of juice. Should have taken 10 minutes, but took 2 hours instead. Grocery stores are very hard. They’re loud, crowded, bright, and full of boxes with pictures and brand names. And, on a dime, that space can become way too much for Daniel. That happened, and Daniel started melting down. That’s an emergency for him and me, and if we’re in a public place our protocol is to get out of there immediately, while making sure Daniel doesn’t run off, as he’s very tempted to do when he’s panicking, because if he bolts away from me he can quickly find himself in danger. So I got Daniel to the checkout, and as I struggled to scan his juice and swipe my card with one hand while using my other arm to keep Daniel in a safe, secure hold by my side, strolling up behind me came a Nosy Nancy customer with her very important opinions. Guys, listen to me very closely: a mom navigating an emergency wants your opinion like she wants a root canal. If she says “please mind your own business and go away”, believe her. This is a story where the old adage “don’t be helpful, be harmless” applies. So I asked this woman to make like a banana and split. But she was adamant that she’s a mom too, so she knew the right thing to do and I needed her in my face telling me what that was. Ultimately, a member of store security got this woman off my back and got me and Daniel safely to the car. It was a relatively short moment, but one that upset me a lot, because I, like most parents in America, really worry about this hostile world my kids are growing up in. And this surely won’t be the last time I’ll have to deal with a Judge Judy in public while I’m out with Daniel.

And that one’s personal to me and my world. I imagine many of you are grappling with the unfathomable shock and grief of this community tragedy. And if you’re not current on local news, I’m talking about my neighbor, Penny. She went missing on October 6th, and after the police carried out a huge manhunt, they kept surveillance of her house every day for over a week. And then on Friday, we got a horrible update: the police found a body in the Genesee River, and confirmed it was Penny. Her sister has been arrested and charged with her murder. I was right next to Penny’s house, where the school bus stop also happens to be, waiting for Xander’s bus, right when Penny’s daughter was frantically looking for someone with a phone, because she’d just found out.

There’s literally no words. Just none.

I got my kids home, Sean ordered comfort Chinese food, and we assured our kids of the only promise we can make them in this life: the world can be very scary, but Mommy and Daddy will always love them and keep them safe.

Then I hit the road for Camp Casowasco for a 24 hour retreat with the conference committee on religion and race, which I serve on. During that hour that I was on the road, I took a phone call from two family members who wouldn’t like to be named here, but who are really struggling with their ability to care for one another, and with their mental health. More rocks in my pockets.

When I’m exhausted, weighted down, and shell shocked, the only thing I have left to do, the thing that gently lifts the rocks from my pockets and my body from the floor, is soaking in God’s love as expressed in the Word.

So let’s look at Solomon’s words about this woman. He wrote a whole book of wisdom, and picked this to end it. She’s been called a lot of things because she has no name: the virtuous wife, the capable wife, the worthy wife, and my personal favorite, from the NRSV translation, the woman of strength. These 21 verses have been used for a lot: they’re the inspiration for Proverbs 31 Ministry, an evangelical group that seeks to offer Christian guidance for women from women. In the past, as a kid, I balked at these words because I’d only ever heard them used in one way, and that was to show women that the best among us are the ones who are at home caring for a husband and children, cooking, sewing, and gardening. And that message didn’t feel like good news to me, because I’m a feminist. Shocking information, I know. Thank God you were all sitting down.

But my view of this passage changed when a very wise and compassionate Sunday School teacher offered me a perspective shift—yes, this woman spends a lot of time engaged in traditionally feminine activities, but look at how much she gets done. She owns land, she’s an entrepreneur who earns her own income, she’s a philanthropist, and a seeker of justice, and she has the respect of her whole community, women and men. This is the Bible’s Rosie the Riveter!

Shifting to the Gospel for a second, we hear a story where James and John, the sons of Zebedee, clearly don’t understand Jesus very well because they ask the most un-Jesus question they could have come up with: what do we have to do to sit next to you in glory, one of us on each side? Oh dear.

But, then again, I’m judging them too quickly. It’s human nature to want to move up to the top of the ladder. It’s also where so many social ills begin. I spent the last 24 hours with CCORR reflecting on how the desire to see yourself as better than someone else is the impulse that racism stems from. Wanting to be the #1 Mom is what had this lady at Wegmans all up in my business. And wanting power, even at the expense of someone else, is the social force that so often sticks the Virtuous Wife in the kitchen while her husband freely navigates the world.

But that’s not where we find the Virtuous Wife, or the Woman of Strength. She spends a verse in the kitchen, a verse in her garden, a few verses in her kids’ bedrooms, and a verse or two at her sewing machine, and then a bunch of verses out and about in the world, doing things that were illegal for women in her time and place to do, like make money and own land.

What gets her that freedom, that freedom that allows her to be the biggest, fullest version of herself, is the support of her husband, and then men around her. What gets her where we see her is the advice Jesus gives James and John–don’t try to be the best. Serve one another. If we mortals make hierarchies amongst ourselves, Jesus will always side with whoever we stuck at the bottom, because his mission is justice. In the vision Jesus teaches James and John, and all of his disciples, people don’t find themselves stacked on vertical rungs, but rather side by side, lending one another a hand. In Jesus’ vision for the Kin-dom of God, men empower women to be their best selves. White folks dismantle all barriers that prevent the abundant livelihoods of people of color. The rich give their money to the poor, the able create access for the disabled, the native born welcomes the immigrant with open arms, and the cishetero folks affirm the loves and identities of all. When we lift one another up, no one has to be weighed down by the rocks in their pockets anymore.

Let us live as Jesus taught us to.

Amen.

*HYMN Freely, Freely UMH# 389

WE RESPOND

JOYS & CONCERNS

PASTORAL PRAYER

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

where there is sadness, joy.

O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek

to be consoled as to console,

to be understood as to understand,

to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

THE LORD’S PRAYER

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.

*HYMN Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling UMH# 348 v 1,2,4 SENDING FORTH WITH BLESSING

POSTLUDE

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